Stolen Seat = Bad Karma

Dear Asshole who stole my bike seat,
Who are you and the what the hell did you do with my bike seat? Not that it's a good excuse, but did you need one? Did someone take yours so you felt it right to take mine? Perhaps you should have gone to the store and purchased one, like a normal theft victim. It's not like the one I had was of high quality. Did you do it as a joke? So you could have a single bike seat perched in your home like a trophy of your courage? "Hey guys, check it out! I STOLE a bike seat, huh, huh!" What now, dumb-ass? What is your plan for my ratty, sweat-slicked butt rest?

(LOGIC: Note missing bike seat, note hard core lock woven between front tire, bike rack and bike frame. Note "easy release" switch on front wheel AND bike seat. Therefore, one's bike seat not being "locked" must indicate it is free to take.)

To your credit, you took my seat while the bike was secured in my apartment complex. It would have been much worse to come out of the store or gym, many miles from home, only to find a sharp metal rod in the place of my seat. For that, bike-seat-stealer, I thank you. However, you are not a hero by any means. I plan to send negative karma waves at you and sleep soundly knowing that what goes around, comes around. That's right buddy--watch your back.