Zen Cave

Of course that feeling of confidence care of my advisor lasted a whopping 48 hours and the dark cloud of discouragement returned. And it was pissed. Last week I found myself spending more time crying than writing while in front of the computer. I think I was secretly hoping to electrocute myself through the keyboard. The wind would blow and I'd be in tears. We're talking nuclear meltdown. All of my usual "snap out of it" tricks were useless. Ice cream, hot baths, retail therapy--all left me empty. Then my neighbor Denise walked passed my door and caught me in one of my seemingly regular sob-fests. "Body work!" she insisted through my screen door. "Come by the office on Friday." I complained about a lack of time (D-Day is in two and change weeks) and she said that if I didn't care for myself now, I'd be too far gone to recover once I defended. And what if I made myself sick? I certainly didn't need to be ill in the midst of all this. So to into her Zen cave I went and I have been SAVED!!! An hour and a half of intense massage and acupuncture and I am a new woman. I will spare you the details of how my body detoxed itself but I'll just say that I've never sweat like that before and that says A LOT. Apparently I had a "blockage" in my chakra, or soul or head or energy lines. Whatever it was, it has been exorcised. I haven't felt this good in a month. I just hope it lasts. And if not, then back to the Zen cave I go!