Your Shitter Questions Answered

There are only a few things about Thailand I won't miss--and the bathroom situation is one of them...

Most Thai bathrooms--or should I say toilets--(don't ask for the 'bathroom' because they'll wonder why you want to take a bath) are "squat" style. They are little more than a hole in the floor with, occasionally, foot pads on either side. There is no toilet paper, but you are provided with a bucket of water (where mosquitoes lay eggs) to cleanse your nether region. If you're smart enough to bring your own TP and don't have to resort to using a) the mystery bucket to splash your parts, b) your own underwear or worse yet, c) your fucking hand [so THAT'S why using your left hand is offensive in Thai culture!!], you still have to carry around your ball of shit-encrusted TP until you find a garbage can, which is just about as rare as a clean lavatory. The Thai toilet experience is debasing, at best, and there is little you can do to avoid it, as most people--especially women--cannot go a full day without a squat. I would entertain you with my own "oops, forgot to bring my own TP" story or the even better, "when in Rome, aka. Sarah and the water bucket" experience, but I have some pride, although it could be argued that too was lost during my 3am shower in a Bangkok airport janitor's closet. I will leave you with a theory I developed, which is the answer to why Thai people only wear long pants, even in the 110* heat--they need the extra fabric to soak up the watery mess they make while...you get the picture.

Note:
-General state of filth
-Hole in floor with foot pads
-No flush mechanism
-Reservoir of water with blue "scoop" (water used to force waste down the hole and rinse your 'areas')
-No sink
-No soap
-No TP
-No dignity