Friday Night Cleansing Ritual

Whilst my peers are participating in events promoting mass intoxication and casual sex, once again I am home alone and cleaning. Yes, cleaning! Why is it that on Friday nights my body is overcome by a burning desire to cleanse my living space? I most certainly do not admire my friends who are engaging in many of the seven deadly sins at this exact moment--but cleaning? Good news is I found my sunglasses. Now I don't have to run about town squinting like I have citrus in my eyes. Perhaps there is goodness in my need for neatness after all. To the rest of you, enjoy your evening out. And to my common whore friends, heed the advice of my wise parents--don't come home pregnant.