Irritability and Annoyances
It appears that this week has been about irritability and annoyances. Blame it on spring fever. Blame it on a hormone imbalance. I'm testy. See the following for details:
1) Now that the weather has improved, all doors and windows in my tiny apartment complex are open. Even in the dead of winter, you can hear the guy downstairs snoring, so imagine the cacophony once spring arrives. Everyone is getting laid, at all hours, all the time. It's a fact. People's on-the-phone voices are five decibels higher than when speaking in person. This is how I know that the couple two doors down are eleven weeks pregnant and not taking the advice of relatives: "No mom, I'm not keeping it a secret. We're almost into the second trimester!" The neighbors across the way have surround sound and like to watch action movies late into the night. I've woken up twice this week, once to a helicopter hovering over my bed and again to a drug-deal-gone-bad type gun fight happening in my sheets. But the worst, the absolute WORST is this guy who has a cough. When I say "cough," I mean, it sounds like he has tuberculosis and is trying to dislodge a cat from his throat while proving to his buddies that yes, he can force his lungs inside out and onto the sidewalk below my window. It is shamelessly loud, rough and...raw. That's the word: raw. Kind of like, instead of yelling shut up, I want to shout, holy shit, do you need the heimlich? With a cough as rough as that, you'd think he'd get the offensive object up or out within two tries, max. This is not the case. The ralphing comes in threes or fours every ten to twelve minutes. It makes me queasy.
2) The above rant makes me wonder if I might have a mild form of autism, as the autistic don't respond well to overstimulation. Or maybe I just don't like noise. Or people.
3) I won't continue the bitch fest about my students, although I am very, very tempted to detail the eye-rolling and unusually loud heavy-sighs they produce regularly. And the endless excuses. Just drop the damned class and shut up. (All of this is followed by a large smile).
4) Is this post really about loud noises? Fuck.
5) The coughing guy is doing this thing as I type. Seriously. Lord help me.
1) Now that the weather has improved, all doors and windows in my tiny apartment complex are open. Even in the dead of winter, you can hear the guy downstairs snoring, so imagine the cacophony once spring arrives. Everyone is getting laid, at all hours, all the time. It's a fact. People's on-the-phone voices are five decibels higher than when speaking in person. This is how I know that the couple two doors down are eleven weeks pregnant and not taking the advice of relatives: "No mom, I'm not keeping it a secret. We're almost into the second trimester!" The neighbors across the way have surround sound and like to watch action movies late into the night. I've woken up twice this week, once to a helicopter hovering over my bed and again to a drug-deal-gone-bad type gun fight happening in my sheets. But the worst, the absolute WORST is this guy who has a cough. When I say "cough," I mean, it sounds like he has tuberculosis and is trying to dislodge a cat from his throat while proving to his buddies that yes, he can force his lungs inside out and onto the sidewalk below my window. It is shamelessly loud, rough and...raw. That's the word: raw. Kind of like, instead of yelling shut up, I want to shout, holy shit, do you need the heimlich? With a cough as rough as that, you'd think he'd get the offensive object up or out within two tries, max. This is not the case. The ralphing comes in threes or fours every ten to twelve minutes. It makes me queasy.
2) The above rant makes me wonder if I might have a mild form of autism, as the autistic don't respond well to overstimulation. Or maybe I just don't like noise. Or people.
3) I won't continue the bitch fest about my students, although I am very, very tempted to detail the eye-rolling and unusually loud heavy-sighs they produce regularly. And the endless excuses. Just drop the damned class and shut up. (All of this is followed by a large smile).
4) Is this post really about loud noises? Fuck.
5) The coughing guy is doing this thing as I type. Seriously. Lord help me.
posted by Hootah at 9:21 AM
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